Have you ever noticed how your children look deeply into your eyes, desperate to for the gaze to be reciprocated?
A few mornings ago, my three year old walked into our bedroom and announced, “It’s Theo!” Just to let everyone know the party had officially arrived. At the mere age of three, my little boy tells me in all types of ways that he wants to be known intimately, and thoroughly. He asks me to watch him jump off the couch, race his cars down the slide, look at his latest watercolor painting, and give him one more kiss goodnight. He is desperate to be enjoyed, loved, and known. His soul is in fact thirsty for this belonging. Aren’t we all?
It’s interesting to me that as we grow older, our desire to be known remains the same, but our willingness to be vulnerable changes. We no longer look deep into another’s eyes, we cover up or refuse to disclose our true self. The inner desire for belonging is there, screaming into the walls of our soul. But on the outside, there is only silence. This ache is so great, yet it’s not greater than our fear to be fully known.
As a mother, balancing the responsibilities of wife, mama, family chef, clean up crew, and everything in between, I give my son my full attention in small pieces. There is a ceiling on my ability to know him because I am only human. But there is someone who knew my son before I did. Who knit him together in my womb. Who put the deep desire for belonging in his heart so he would push for the more, beyond what mama and the world can offer him. When he finds this belonging, he will have what his soul is desperately seeking. His soul will truly be quenched for the first time.
Sweet friend, no one can know you like the one who made you. It’s in Him that you will find true belonging. I encourage you to be vulnerable once more. This time with the one who made you, so you can be fully known, and fully healed.
I honestly learn more from my children, than they learn from me. It’s quite humbling. Being a mother and wife is God’s greatest gift. It refines me, and teaches the intricate details of the Father’s heart towards me, and towards you.
-Sydnie 🙂
Sydnie Bonin 